hhmm I kinda just want to curl in to a ball and cry at the moment. people are making me feel physically sick, and crazy, and I just want things to be over. and by things, people I don't mean my life. don't get so overly dramatic on me. I just mean like school, and feelings that I have that need to go the fuck away. UGH just let me finish this freaking year, and get me the eff out of here and away from people... not all people... just some. ugh.

the cliches may suck when you get told them while you are hurting... but no matter how dumb they sound, they are true... without the bad the good wouldn't be so good... sometimes we have to remember the good during the bad so that we can remember it isn't always this hard and the silver lining to our dark cloud will eventually shine through. remember the good, learn from the bad, and live in the present... sometimes that is easier said than done... but attempting that is what keeps us alive. when you feel like your about to be swallowed up by the world grasp on to the good around you. your friends, your family, anything that you love, it will hold you up in the bad and celebrate with you in the good.

so in the end no matter how many times I may say that I hate you... I will never mean it... I don't hate anyone... I love all my friends and in the end I don't know what I would do without you. and as watered down the words I love you have gotten, I mean them. honestly and truly and I don't think I say them enough. so yeah... that is my feelings for the night... and there is more in my head to my above post... and I might finish it later I don't know... but yeah... there you go.  

WOW! Seriously. Tonight was like... the best night EVER!!! <sigh> wow... today was seriously the best day I've had in FOREVER!!! the whole day just pretty much rocked! haha I <3 it!

blah blah mcfreakin blah!!

he makes me so crazy!

Wishes don't always come true... well... at least not when you're wishing that you could just hate people. I guess I just lack the physical or mental capasity to hate people no matter how much I wish I could.. and how is it that I'm the one that should be mad, and is mad for that matter, but crap gets turned around on me.

He has no right to turn this crap around on me... he's the one that messed up, he's the one that should be appologising, he's the one that should be trying to fix things, not the other way around. Pretty much all I know is that he says he actually cares if he loses me as a friend and that is about it... I really wish that I could just hate him... my life would have so much less... McCrap in it if he weren't in it. ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr